Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Denial Is My Friend

The past month has been a whirlwind of emotion. Since my mother's sudden passing on September 9th, I feel incomplete. My emotions have run the gamut and now denial has become my friend. It gets me through the day.

Reality is about to hit me broadside this weekend. My husband and stepson will be out of town (deer season is upon us) and I will be alone as my mother's dream home is having an open house for the estate sale next Thursday.

I realize that I can no longer deny that my mama is gone. How can I when I see the home that she and my dad lovingly started to share their golden years in be sold. How can I when due to our small house the antique baby grand piano, a gift from my dad to my mom, is sold to the highest bidder? My brothers and I will lose the last tangible connection of our parents and we can't stop it.

Denial has kept me blind, deaf, and oblivious to the point that I feel I am going to fall apart if I let go of what I am hiding behind.

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