Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Blessings and the Downfalls

Sitting here listening to the rain pound on the roof of the house I begin to reflect on this past week. So much has happened both good and bad and many lessons have been learned. So I begin...

The week started with promise, so much promise.

  • My husband finally had a day off and all we did was spend it together! We went and had lunch at a nice Mexican restaurant and then went to the three dollar theatre and chose to see two movies. We so needed that time together.

  • I actually mailed my nieces birthday cards on time for their 9th birthday. And one of the highlights was getting to skype them to hear all about their birthdays.

  • Greeting my students at the door each morning is a highlight of my day. I laugh when they try to sneak by me and see if I catch it to tell them good morning.

  • Scheduled many activities for my students to learn this week, from cooking rice and talking about cultures to playing Sink or Save to review for a test. Then we play on Fridays, What's the Best Part of Your Week. They love it!

Then the walls came a tumblin down...

  • The tension at work can't be cut even with a knife. And me... I was told I could no longer be in no man's land. Take a stand is what I was told. You see, part of my grade level team is negative on the professional learning that is going on at school. I don't agree with them but I can see their point. This has resulted in people who I felt where my friends no longer wanting to speak with me except in passing. I was told I lost their trust and they felt I was siding with my teammates. I just want to be there for my students. I love teaching but hate the politics. I want to be the best I can be for my students and if that takes a few extra hours a week then so be it. The loss of these close relationships though hurts my heart to the core.

  • Friday brought news of sadness. My Maltese, Harmony, has fallen ill. Dehydration, some kidney dysfunction, and congestive heart failure. I have had her since she was 6 months old (she is now 14 years), a gift from my now deceased parents. The vet has given her about 6 months. My heart is grieving for this upcoming loss.

As a dear friend said to me, just yesterday, God must really like me because He's given me all this and believes I can handle it. I'm not to sure I'm this strong so I asked Him to wrap me in his arms for awhile and help me through not only the blessings but the downfalls as well.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Sure Hope He Was Listening

Drivers on the road probably thought I was some road raged driver as they passed me on the highway this morning. I was on my way to have lunch with one of my best girlfriends when I decided I was angry. Not at the people around me but at my mama and God. You see, today marks her first anniversary in Heaven.

So in between the tears I continued to pour out my thoughts to God. Telling him that even though I love him that I was tired of having all this loss in my life. That it was now the season for light not darkness, life not loss. I felt a bit like Job crying out to God for help. Sure hope He was listening.

Friday, September 2, 2011

A Little Prayer Goes Along Way

I confess I have found my days going much smoother this week. Inspired by a friend of mine who has been seeking a relationship with God I have renewed my prayer life. After I drop my stepson off for school I find myself praying for those closest in my life starting with him, then moving on to those in my family, followed by my friends and then my coworkers. I then take a moment to name each of my students and lift them up to God.

This takes me back to a conversation my mama and I had before she passed. We were talking about ministry and she felt mine was in music. I won't deny that God has allowed for me to sing for his glory but I feel my ministry lies with my students. This week proved it. One little girl came up to me and asked me if I was a christian and because she opened the door for this conversation I was allowed to answer with a yes. I also play praise music in my classroom and received an email from a parent telling me her daughter told her I was playing a christian station in my room. At first I was a bit afraid until this parent said she was so happy to hear that I was playing the praise music. All I can say this is the power of prayer.