Monday, December 27, 2010

Her Favorite Time of Year

The halls are not decked this year. Christmas trees are missing in all the rooms. Stockings are not hung with care. Fried turkey not cooked. Baking not done. Gifts not bought or wrapped. Cards not mailed. Chocolate covered cherries were not eaten the day after Thanksgiving so to open up the Christmas season. We did not sing our duet of "Winter Wonderland".

When asked what she wanted for Christmas, my eleven year old niece replied, "Peace of mind and Grammie back."

My step sister commented after her side of the family gathering, "This was fun, but there is something really wrong with this picture. We should be over at the house Patti picked out watching her have a blast entertaining everyone."

This year was a quiet Christmas. No going over to my Mama's after breakfast. She loved this time of year. It was her favorite. The house was always decorated from top to bottom. A tree in every room she could place one and of course I played her elf and helped decorate everyone of them.

Even though I know she is celebrating at Our Savior's house this year along with Daddy she is missed. Christmas isn't the same. Daddy may have been the foundation of our family but Mama was the glue. This was the year we were suppose to all be at her house celebrating Christmas instead, we were all separated. I'm in full agreement with my niece, "I want Grammie under the tree this year."

Our family Christmas photo about 10 years ago. Grammie and Papa are reading Christmas stories.

Santa Claus...Who Is He?

Santa Claus...I'll tell you who he is. I've known all my life about this jolly ole' elf. So, let me go back to the beginning.

When I was the tender age of 4, I attended Head Start (state preschool) where my Mama was a teacher. Around Christmas time they decided that the students should have a Christmas party (yes, that is what we called them in my day).

My Mama decided Santa should make an appearance, and thus, my Daddy was recruited for the job. The day of the party my Daddy donned his costume and pulled on his work boots (we had a dairy farm at the time). As he strode out the door my Mama told him to change his boots. He asked why and she told him that if he were to wear his work boots I would recognize them. His response was, "She's 4. She won't recognize them." So off he went.

As the party got under way it was soon time for Santa's special visit. Sitting next to my bestie at the time, our eyes were widened as Santa entered the room. We couldn't believe that he would come to visit our Head Start. As I took in Santa as a whole (yes, I recognized his work boots) I yelled out, "That's my D...!" and before I finished I covered my mouth. I was so excited to find out my Daddy was the real Santa Claus!

Fast forward a few parents set me down to tell me all about Santa because my older brothers told me he wasn't real. Of course, I insisted otherwise. As my Mama and Daddy proceeded to tell me the truth I was devastated! I knew deep down in my heart that Daddy was Santa and the reindeer were kept out on the back acres of our dairy farm. My Mama told me in my later years that if about killed her and Daddy to tell me the truth because I cried for days about it.

Every year I tell my students (they're 5th graders so they know the truth) this story because it is one my Mama told me every year at Christmas. So, yes, I know who Santa Clause is...He's my Daddy.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Prayers Are Much Appreciated...

It's been awhile since I last posted but I have so much pent up in me I need a bit of therapy. I think I am ready to let down my guard and let the emotions that are buried deep come out. I am still numb and feel as though I'm on a downward spiral but I'll pull time I will...I have too. So the next few postings are my therapy to begin being fine with my Mama's passing and trying to pull myself back together again. Prayers are much appreciated...