Feeling like an option not a priority

Let me start by saying I stole my title from my friend Dawn's face book when I realized this is how I am feeling lately with my husband and stepson. Don't get me wrong I love them both but I am a second class citizen when it comes to this family. I am last in line. Now that may sound selfish to some people but I don't ask for much.
They constantly do things together but I feel that my husband would rather spend time with his son than with me (his 14 yr old son lives with us). When my husband goes to the convenience store he brings his son back a drink but not me. When my stepson wants me to buy him something he finally does his chores. I ask for my stepson to pay some of his golf tournament fees out of his allowance and my husband says that is what parents are for. Isn't it time to learn how to make good use of your money?
Most days I feel like all I am is a paycheck, an option. Not needed except for my financial contributions. Maybe I am having a hard time transitioning from single girl life where my money was my own to married life where my money belongs to everyone. Maybe I miss going out and getting pampered and feeling like a girl (my roots are a mile long and I sorely need a pedicure). I lose all this to baseball fees, golf fees, golf clubs, uniforms, something for the boat, etc...